the Walnut Diary

In 2003 Porsche came out with a radical machine, a sport utility vehicle to compete with the Range Rover, the Mercedes G class, and the BMW X5. It had to outdo these established models in a crowded field. The engineers went to work, adapting a borrowed chassis from the VW Tuareg into an SUV which was also a Porsche.

The resulting Cayenne succeeded, to some extent. Its on-road handing was so good that many Porsche 911 owners happily added one to their garages because it was so much fun to drive. That level of sophistication did not come cheaply, though. In Canada, with taxes, the original V8 cars cost right around $100,000. and the turbos were even pricier.

Then some problems popped up with the V8 engines. It seems Porsche reduced weight and cost by gluing plastic coolant tubes into centre V of the engines, right above the starter. They also added some plastic T’s to route coolant on the turbo models. Both plastics turned out to have short lifespans. Coolant gushing over the starter and the automatic transmission caused both to fail with annoying regularity. Recalls and a class action suit came too late for the model’s reputation for reliability. Values plummeted.

Other quirks include a coolant-cooled alternator and in some cases a rear battery in addition to the one under the driver’s seat, though these features seem generally reliable, if bewildering to the new owner. On the other hand, air conditioning servos packed in a grease which becomes so stiff with age that it causes the servos to seize causes much angst to owners in regions experiencing extreme temperatures.

The V8 engines have a major lubrication problem in sub-zero temperatures: they don’t get enough oil at start-up to #5 to keep the rings from scraping the lining off the cylinder. Repeated extreme-cold starts with sludge impeding oil flow erode the cylinder wall, evidenced by an incremental ticking noise which eventually renders the engine unserviceable. When word of early engine failures got out, nobody wanted the prospect of a $30,000 engine rebuild. Cayennes dropped in value about that much.

Then came the drive shaft support bearing. For some reason Porsche engineers suspended the tube responsible for transmitting the torque of engines up to 500 hp with an eighth-inch thick rubber membrane. When it failed the symptom was commonly reported as: “An irate midget with a hammer pounding on the transmission tunnel.” Repairs cost about $1200. More depreciation occurred because the potential owners of these cars did not want to be saddled with further expenses.

Then came the do-it-yourselfers. As soon as used Cayenne values descended toward the magic $10K mark, the market changed significantly. Turns out the best way to fix the driveshaft was with a compress of short heater hose sections held in place with zip ties. A perfectly usable repair cost an hour under the car and about $10. They called it the Jimi Fix after the mechanic who did the first one on a Nissan pickup in an off-road race.

All owners had to do to protect their engines from the cold was keep them in insulated garages in winter and change the oil a lot, or else live in a warm climate.

Coolant tube repairs were more demanding, but aftermarket aluminum kits appeared everywhere. Some owners (myself included) were astonished to discover that the repair had already been done on recall years before on their Cayennes. It’s very hard to tell without opening up the engine. I bought mine on the assumption that it would need a $3000 coolant tube repair, and the price had been adjusted accordingly.

The surprise to the determined do-it-yourselfer was that, once the various glitches of the early cars were sorted, the Cayennes proved reliable.

The 5400 pound cars still use a lot of fuel, tires, and brakes. They are far from economical to drive. On the other hand, the bodies are very durable and most still look like new when they are scrapped because their engines have clicked themselves to death or overheated from coolant loss.

My son and I bought a pair of 2004 Cayenne S models because they are tremendous vehicles, priced artificially low, at about 1/3 the price of the desirable Toyota Land Cruiser. They make better tow vehicles, easily handling 7400 pounds in stock trim, and actually use less fuel than the off-road icon. With proper care the Cayenne engines are durable and offer very high performance, though the Land Cruiser has it all over the Cayenne in off-road performance and life expectancy.

A taste for black humour has pervaded the online Porsche Cayenne owner’s culture. Purchasing an early Porsche Cayenne without a full warranty was likened to “going naked.” Buying an ’04 to ’05 model was described as “cliff jumping.” But the naked cliff jumpers communicated among themselves and took a perverse pride in sorting out the various quirks of their “Pigs.”

The coach work on the Cayenne is of exceptionally high quality. Every reviewer who has driven one on the highway loves it. The bad reputation has cut the price of the early Cayennes down to where a knowledgeable do-it-yourselfer with moderately deep pockets can buy and own an outstanding car.